Chapter 10

By the time they were ready to leave the sky had grown more cloudy than before and there was a faint pitter patter of rain. The smoker had been put out and everything that wouldn't be used was abandoned.

Chase had made himself a satchel using the hide of the deer and filled it with what few belongings they had managed to accumulate whilst staying there. Small clay cups, some tinder and kindling, whatever string and rope he could salvage by disassembling the shelter and cutting down the smoked deer, and an assortment of tools both usable and incomplete.

He had wanted to have a water skin but when he opened up the smoked deer to see if its stomach could be used, he found that there was a nasty puncture from when he stabbed it. Even with his best efforts it would take days to repair and would still leak water. They would have to stick to the river during their travels until he found a way to take water with them.

He took what meat he could carry in another satchel and abandoned the rest. He hoped that he could avoid coming across the herd by attracting them to their abandoned camp. Because of this, he felt somewhat panicked at the thought of their return and was trying to leave as quickly as possible.

The only thing really hampering his progress was that he didn't have any barrow nettles left. Now that it had completely worn off the pain was excruciating, every time he felt the cloth around his arm rub against the wound his flesh cried out for it to stop. For him to stay still.

He pushed through the pain even when it made him sweaty and nauseous. Chase hoisted both of the satchels over his shoulders; his grip almost gave out when he lifted it, but eventually everything was secured onto him.

Elie had a small basket with some of the plants he had gathered and tested. He was fairly certain that it was edible, especially when boiled into a soup, but he couldn't be sure because of his lack of taste.

They both left the camp and followed the river downstream, not that it likely mattered. The river had a mind of its own and changed on a whim, he couldn't be sure that he was even going in the same direction as he came from.

Elie hobbled along beside him until they were almost unable to see their camp anymore. The rain had started to get worse and large droplets were now starting to come down. Elie stopped and looked back at their camp, she didn't want to go. Although it had been brief she considered it a home of sorts.

"Elie, we have to go now."

He patiently waited for her but his wound was making him more and more restless.

He reached out to grab her arm, "Come on." She stumbled a bit as he tried to get her to move and she pulled herself out of his grip.

"I don't want to go. It's raining, can't we leave after the rain?"

"It's not safe there."

"My leg hurts. I can't walk anymore."

Chase took the basket from her and added it to his load, "Does that help?" he asked, testily.

"I don't... I don't wanna go."

Chase readjusted the cloth on his wound to try to make it more comfortable, "I know sweetheart, but we have to keep moving. We don't want them to come back."

"But we scared them off!"

Chase snapped, "No we didn't!" he heaved, "We don't look like anything but prey to them! We are like rabbits biting a fox trying to get in, you don't try to fight the fox, you abandon the burrow!"

He pulled out the crooked bow that he had attempted to make, it was too rigid for him to flex it comfortably and he had almost given up on it multiple times. "I can't do anything about them without a bow. And let's say I do have a bow, can I fight off an entire herd? Can I even be sure that I can kill one?" He raised it into the air, "But none of this even matters without any fucking arrows!" and threw it into the river, letting it be carried away by the water.

A sharp pain ran down his arm, his wound had reopened, again. Chase tried tightening it, again, and felt a searing pain, but his frustration forced it into submission. "What do you want me to do?! What can we do but run? Do you want to be eaten?" The heat in his voice rose as he continued, "Last night, I watched one of the herd get hurt, I watched them bleed." He said holding his arm up, "Want to know what they did to their own? They ran after it, intent on having a feast. If we wait for them to get to us, we won't be able to outrun them!"

"I... I don't..."

"They won't even think twice about eating us!" He shouted, a touch of hysteria entering his voice.

Chase felt the blood flushing to his face ease when he saw the way Elie looked at him. There was an immediate sense of guilt but he had to push her otherwise she wouldn't move.

"I'm leaving."

And he turned around and started walking down the river. When he didn't hear her following after him he sent quick glances back at her. Elie was rooted in place looking at her father, trying to process what he had said.

Chase kept walking, he couldn't stop now. He kept walking, slower and slower. He glanced back once more and felt a surge of panic when he couldn't find her. This feeling went away once he felt a small set of hands grab onto his leg. Elie didn't let go and had her face pressed against his side, she just hugged his leg motionlessly as if trying to stop him from leaving.

Chase had a lump in his throat, but even if he felt guilty they had to go. It was better than dying horribly with a slightly clearer conscience.

"Elie... do you want to play giant's leg?"

Elie looked up at him reluctantly, but after a moment she held onto his leg as tightly as she could and Chase continued to walk, swinging her back and forth with each step.

After a few steps Elie seemed less hesitant to embark on their new "adventure" and after a dozen steps there was the faint sound of giggling and squealing with each footfall.

Chase continued like this for as long as he could, switching legs and dragging her along playfully. But eventually he wasn't able to carry her around like that anymore, the rain had started to get heavier and now both of them trudged through the increasingly resistant mud. Chase was encumbered by all of their belongings and felt a burning exhaustion along his back and legs.

Elie held his hand and hobbled after him. She stared daggers at him in a way that was uncannily similar to the way his wife stared at him after an argument. Furrowed brows that sat atop half-open, disapproving eyes. The rain had already made their clothes damp to the touch and it hardly seemed to be getting better.

They eventually came across a low cliff at the river bend, at its foot was a hole just barely large enough to be considered a cave. They dragged themselves underneath it and collapsed in a heap.

The rain was no longer able to reach them even as it slowly grew more and more intense. But water was already starting to seep along the ground so Chase took the butt of his spear and gouged out a small moat around them. It gathered water and let it sink into the ground before reaching them.

He then tapped the walls of the cave to check for any snakes that might be hiding in the cracks. After a few minutes of tapping he took a moment to relax. He lay down on the dirt staring at the roof of the cave and peeking at the bright grey sky outside.

Elie crawled over to him and laid the back of her head onto his stomach. Her head bobbing up and down as Chase breathed.

"Dad, is the deer going to die."

"The one without a tongue?"

He felt her head nod against his stomach.

"Nope, he'll have a tough time eating but he'll live."

"But he wouldn't get hungry without a tongue."

"You get hungry from your stomach."

"If you can't taste it, how does your stomach know it's full?"

Chase put a finger in his mouth out of habit, just to see if everything had been a dream. Unfortunately he still couldn't taste anything and his mood grew sour.

"I don't know. It just does. The deer is still out there and it's probably very angry at us."

"If we see it again... Are we going to kill it?"

"Probably."

"What happens when we kill it?"

"We eat it."

"...will it kill us?"

"Probably."

"What happens when it kills us?"

"We die. It eats us."

"What happens when we die?"

"I don't..." Chase paused. Had he grown so cynical as to be unable to give his daughter a little bit of hope? He couldn't finish his sentence. He wouldn't.

"You go to heaven."

"Heaven? What's that?"

"It's like home, but you can eat as much as you want and whatever you want, and you never get full."

"Never?"

"Never."

"Heaven sounds great."

"It is, Mum is there right now. She's probably drinking tea outside whilst watching the goat."

"Can we go and see her!" Elie said excitedly before she remembered the path to get there.  Her expression grew a tad fearful.

"We have to wait our turn."

"If... If I go... Will you come with me?"

Chase wasn't able to answer for a long time, he could feel Elie squirming anxiously but he held his tongue until he had searched himself and was sure.

"Yeah."

They didn't talk for a long time after that, Chase could feel the drowsiness try and take him. But there wasn't the time to sleep. Not yet.

He had thought Elie had taken a nap when he suddenly heard her ask a question.

"What does fucking mean?"

Chase couldn't help but let out a frustrated groan, his palm resting on his forehead trying to push him into the ground below so that he might escape the ensuing conversation.

He did his best to avoid answering, instead trying to appease her by giving her some smoked meat to chew on. He would save that conversation for a time when he had more patience.

There was a lull in the rain, the smell of water in the air was replaced by the scent of moist earth and damp wood. The sky grew a tad brighter but a veil of clouds still hung over it, obscuring its visage.

They took a drink from the river and continued walking along. Chase considered going across the river where there was more open space, he felt uneasy about having a river and cliff on either side. But he wasn't able to cross whilst carrying everything they had on him.

He pushed the idea aside and maintained a steady pace, he pulled his spear out of the mud with each step then plunged it in again right after. Unfortunately, Elie was already starting to lag behind, and the more they travelled the worse she limped, he picked up a stick on their way and gave it to her to use as a staff. She imitated his laboured movements until she alleviated much of the load from her bad leg, taking two steps for every one of his.

Just as Chase put his satchel to the side to rest Elie pointed out to the river.

"The bow..." She said timidly, expecting some kind of anger.

Chase stared at the bow, it had been caught up against a small rock outcrop that refused to yield to the current. He tried to ignore it and just get some rest, his shoulders were aching and even the soles of his feet were hurting from how much he had trekked.

Eventually he couldn't help but look. He had spent so much time on it, but at the end of the day it was a failure, he shook his head in an act to dissuade himself.

It would be nice to recover the string

It wasn't like he would be able to make any more on the move.

Chase stood up despite his body protesting and grumbled as he made his way to the riverbank. He took his shirt and pants off and began wading into the river.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

Elie was quick to plant herself on the ground and sat on a dry spot with her legs stretched out at an angle from each other. She kept fidgeting with the stick lifting it up and smacking the dirt with it causing little splatters of mud to go everywhere.

Chase pushed through the river until the water was up to his chest, the bow waited only a few steps away from him, his next step left him completely submerged and he swam the small distance to the rock. He was faintly shivering from the chilly water but he would be able to dry off and warm up once he got back.

He climbed onto the rock and raised the bow in the air shouting at her that he got it. She smiled and waved the stick at him gleefully, excited at what he was doing.

Chase let a smile rest on his face as he watched her, he would make sure to take her to a river or lake and teach her to swim once they got home. One of his militia friends from Felicitas told him about the lake next to the city; he would speak of the lake the way bards spoke of fair ladies. Chase reminisced for a moment before shaking his head in amusement at the memory.

He slung the bow across his back, and just as he was getting down to go back he saw something from the corner of his eyes. His blood ran cold.

Chase let out a sound that would curdle the blood of anyone who heard it. The kind of scream that comes from the heart.

"LOOK!"

He pointed frantically at a small deer that was quickly making its way towards Elie, its snout was covered in red and it had a hunger - No, a vengeance in its eyes.

Elie shot up and pointed her stick right at it, her arms were visibly shaking even from this distance. Chase saw her throw her stick away and grab the spear he had left behind, clumsily aiming it towards the deer.

"RUN! RUN!"

She looked at Chase one last time before entering a limping sprint. Both of her hands firmly held a spear that was too big for her.

Chase dove into the water beneath, an ink black coloured by grey sunlight was all he could see.

Everything sounded muffled and felt cold. But he didn't stop.

They would go to see Elian together. He had made a promise.

He had said yes.